freezing speech bubbles seem to hold your words aloft

so i'm home alone this weekend. usually it's home alone means me and lauren and whoever she may be dating at the time but she's off with "whoever she's dating" so home alone means at home. alone. by myself.
i'm really not the party type. i mean that's not to say that we didn't have a fun little slumber party last night but my parents knew and i'm not the type to do crap that my parents wouldn't be ok with anyway so there's that.
i think you probably get to know yourself better the more time you spend alone. not that i condone this for extended periods of time i'm just saying. i mean having to fill your time and deciding how to fill it i think is pretty indicitive of who you are. do you invite friends over all the time and have to be accompanied all the time? are you dependent on other people? do you listen to music that you know puts you in a lame mood and read by the fire? what does that say about you? i don't know but i think it says something.
another thing i've discovered is my connundrum with the lights. off? on? i don't know. i prefer the dark. most of the time i will turn the light off. but when there isn't a necessity for light and they're all off all of the time and the sun fades into the trees and all there is is the drowning darkness...should i flick on a lamp? it's strange because that darkness is always there. there's never enough light to make you comfy again but when suddenly there is, it's too much and you have to turn the light off. and one light in particular. the front porch light. why do i feel so much better when that light's on? i can't see it most of the time. if i go up the front stairs and pass the front door i notice the soft glow through the dirty sidelight glass but what comfort should that offer? why would i feel better?
my connundrum with the lights.

so whatever it may say about me, i'm going to sit by the fire and read and drink some coffee with the front porch light on.