all my complaints shrink to nothing

i am so sick.
but i am getting better physically.
i'm just sick of my break in routine.
i mean yeah i get stressed at school and all that and i really do hate school these days but it's like i hate it but right now that's my responsibility. it's what i have that i have to do. and right now i can't and i hate just like sitting at home getting farther and farther behind. i just keep sitting and listening to music and staring at chemistry stuff and eventually i'll realize that i've stopped staring at it so i'll be like "ok get focused you have to learn this crap" and go back to staring. then i'll fall asleep. i'm gonna like choke on a cough drop or something. so far as i know when i go back i will have a grand collective of seven quizzes/tests to make up. and i don't feel particualarly prepared for any of them. and every once in a while when my advil kicks in i start feeling decent and i'll think to myself "well if i'm here, not at school, i might as well be doing productive things. i'll work on a dance." that never works. it's just not a great idea.
and i haven't talked to like anyone. it's driving me nuts. i want to like die for lack of social interaction.
i think i've watched like every episode of project runway from this whole season about twelve times.
all of you are just going to have to get sick for me because if i stay at this house one more day, self mutilation is in my future.

ugh.

f the flu.